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Joke of the Day

"A woman screams as she gives birth... ""What's wrong, honey?"" her husband asks. ""What's wrong?!?"" the woman shouts, ""THESE CONTRACTIONS ARE GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME!"" ""Sorry babe. *What is* wrong?"""

Next Joke
 
"She was only a fishmonger's daughter .. .. but she'd slap it on a slab and shout ""Fillet!"""
"*Shocking News*: Critics Say Kindergartner's Homework ""Doesn't Add Up"""
"So while Lane Kiffin was managing the Alabama offensive... he had Nick Saban's daughter handling the D?"
"[sees kid hitting pinata] Me: wow he really hates horses"
"Why do Japanese people have slanty eyes? Atomic bombs are realllllly bright."
"Why did Yellow divorce Red? Because Red Blue Green"
"Why isn't Sean Connery an unmarried roofer? He's not a fan of the shingle life."
"Christmas in Latvia Is Christmas man have present! He open, find rotten potato. Wife die of malnutrition night that."
"how many hipsters does it take to put in a lightbulb? its a realy obscure number, you've probably never heard of it"