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Joke of the Day
"Never end a tweet with a question mark. People will talk to you."
Next Joke
"I don't want to tell you how to run your company, Hostess, but liquidating just as weed becomes legal seems like a bad business decision."
"I just found out that people can still read words when they're in parentheses and holy shit do I have a bunch of apologies to write."
"How do you turn an Indian woman on? Press the red button."
"A first grade teacher asks her students, ""What comes after 69?"" One student responds, ""Mouthwash"""
"A girl say to her boyfriend ""we need to talk....I'm pegnant""..... The boyfriend replies ""Hi Pregnant! I'm Dad!"""
"I heard that roles in leadership positions are good jobs... ...but tell that to Kim Jong Un, he's a dictator with a failing Korea"
"Donald Trump says he'll open up secret 9/11 files. Miley Cyrus says she'll flee the country if Trump is elected. Connect the dots, people."
"What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breathe, dang it! BREATHE!"
"Did you hear about the war between Newfoundland and Nova Scotia ? The Newfies were lobbing hand grenades; the Nova Scotians were pulling the pins and throwing them back."