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Joke of the Day

"I heard that roles in leadership positions are good jobs... ...but tell that to Kim Jong Un, he's a dictator with a failing Korea"

"Would've totally banged this chick at the bar, but I noticed she had a crooked pinkie toe. Better luck with someone without standards,babe."

"30 And to his followers he said, ""Beliebers, weep not for me but yourselves and your children; for they'll never get to see me in concert."""

"Grammar Nazi. ""Sir, we are mining too many useless cores"" [Hitler rubs chin] ""So, mine less. [Grammar Nazi bursts through the door] ""MINE FEWER!"" [Hitler looks up] ""Yes, soldier?"""

"Why don't Germans like humour? Because it's inefficient!"

"I hurt my shoulder and doctor told me i shouldn't lift anything heavy. So i'm forced to sit down when i pee."

"I just don't understand how moats ever went out of style."

"How many ISIS mercenaries does it take to change a light bulb? None stupid crusader, that's a job for the hostages!"

"Subway, Eat flesh. (If Hannibal Lector owned chain restaurants.)"

"Is a red headed Ninja called a Ginja?"