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Joke of the Day

"I just found out that people can still read words when they're in parentheses and holy shit do I have a bunch of apologies to write."

"whats the difference between Michael Phelps and adolf hitler Michael Phelps can finish a race"

"Which doesnt belong? Camel Polar Bear Obama Buffalo Camel......It's the only one on the list that knows something about the Middle East"

"Did you hear about the dyslexic who walked into a bra"

"Where do polar bears go to have emotional breakthroughs? The CathArctic."

"I've started calling my penis the bullet. It's really small and comes really fast."

"My Girlfriend broke up with me because I don't last long in bed... I told her if she ever changes her mind, all she has to do is phone and I'll come straight away."

"With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine."

"We all have that one friend with the hot sister everyone wants to get with."

"If someone from Poland is called a Pole, what's someone from Holland called? Dutch."