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Joke of the Day

"BAD MATH JOKE TIME. For pi day, my friend was selling pies as a fundraiser, so because I love pie, I decided to buy two. I went from 0 to 2. I went absolutely nowhere."

"John Cena wakes up in a hospital Cena:""Where am I?"" Nurse:""ICU"" Cena:""No you don't """

"When a traffic light is out of service you should just treat the intersection as a post-apocalyptic demolition derby."

"My GF's jokes. #1 What type of car does James Bond drive? 00-Sedan"

"What do you call a fear of horned bovines? Aurochnophobia."

"Q. Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? A. Because if they all went it would be Hell."

"A girl tells her Irish mom she wants to be a prostitute. 'A WHAT?' The mother shouts. 'A prostitute' replies the girl. 'OH thank god!! I thought you wanted to become Protestant!"

"A man with multiple-personality disorder walked into a bar. No he didn't."

"*drinks milkshake* *runs to yard* *sifts through all the boys* *sighs* *puts up more posters for missing son*"

"Which US President was least guilty? Lincoln. He was in a cent."