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Joke of the Day
"I'm so sick I feel like a white boy at his first Kanye concert (masterpiece)"
Next Joke
"*spends 30 minutes trying to unzip my pants to have sex for the first time* *girlfriend sighs* ""Just take off the mittens"" MY HANDS ARE COLD"
"How did the dyslexic American mathematician sing the first line of his national anthem? ""Oh secant, you say?"""
"My new girlfriend just found out that I'm 42. She said, ""You told me that you were 28 and a half!"" I said, ""I am if you think about it."""
"What changes the more popular it gets Hillary Clinton's views"
"Two friends were walking by the ballet museum... When one points and asks his friend, ""Is that statue a foot?"" To which his friend replies, ""No, it's about four and a half feet."""
"What do you call a child with no arms and no legs swimming in a pool? Bob."
"Been flirting with this hot chick in this bar for almost a hour now. It's only a matter of time now till nothing sexual happens whatsoever."
"Newsflash, New Zealand! You're not that new!"
"The number of things I feel compelled to sniff before I buy, is slightly embarrassing."