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Joke of the Day

"What kind of bees produce milk? Boobies"

"Why did the cow return to the marijuana field? It was the pot calling the cattle back."

"""The Godfather"" teaches us that: 1. Nothing is more important than family and 2. Our families are always trying to kill us."

"this is stick *dog wags tail* this is branch. its made of sticks *tail wags faster* this is tree. it makes sticks *dog helicopters into sky*"

"How do I raise my kids? Simple, I grab them under their arm pits, bend at the knees and stand up, how else would you do it?"

"Hating everything saves countless hours of decision making"

"It can not get any worser. So I thought but as it seems I have really weak imagination."

"I'm sorry I'm late. I saw a drawing of the sun wearing sunglasses and spent 4 hours wondering what the fuck he was protecting his eyes from."

"I hate sausage puns. They're the wurst."

"A double foot amputee hobbles into a yogurt factory and is immediately escorted out... They were lack toes intolerant."