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Joke of the Day
"How do you get the political science grad off your lawn? Pay for the pizza"
Next Joke
"If I'd shot you sooner, I'd be out of jail by now."
"GOOD COP: Give us a name! PERP: Never! TED TALK COP: Imagine a world where every single human has- PERP: Okay I'll talk, please just stop!"
"[OC] Alright, here's my new year's resolution... Stop being late"
"So I beat a Russian Grand Master once. With his own cane."
"Just got a diamond ring for my girlfriend Fair trade if you ask me"
"[at a bar] ""I'm meeting my friend Dan"" big Dan or Dan who's never has money? [door swings open] HEY WHO WANTS TO BUY THEIR BUDDY DAN A DRINK"
"What do you call all that useless meat around the vagina? A woman"
"""You should only have to tell them once"" - People with no children"
"THEM: What's it called when you think about them all the time? ME: Love. T: What if it's about murdering them all the time? M: Also love."