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Joke of the Day
"Just got a diamond ring for my girlfriend Fair trade if you ask me"
Next Joke
"Out of curiosity, where were you all thinking of moving after you're done destroying the Earth? 'Cause I assume you've thought that through."
"*Tim Burton slams hands on table* WTF DO U MEAN THERE ARE OTHER ACTORS BESIDES JOHNNY DEPP & MY WIFE *turns to Depp* HOW LONG HAVE U KNOWN"
"what's the peak of bad luck to fall off a crashing plane on a sinking ship"
"A baby seal walked into a club"
"You think your day was bad? I just had a 15 minute long argument with a couch cushion."
"How could they tell Amy Winehouse was dead? No, seriously. How could they tell?"
"I liked watching squirrel soap operas unfold in my backyard right up until the damn neighbor cat murdered all the actors."
"I'm reading a book about anti-gravity I just can't put it down!"
"Ripped a mole off my face today... Gotta stop looking down gopher holes..."