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Joke of the Day

"[at a bar] ""I'm meeting my friend Dan"" big Dan or Dan who's never has money? [door swings open] HEY WHO WANTS TO BUY THEIR BUDDY DAN A DRINK"

"Everyone keeps telling me that the holocaust happened.. But I don't know if it Israel."

"I told my friend he was noble.... He didn't react."

"A pencil stands face to face against his nemesis, Paper. Will our hero find the strength he needs to overcome his greatest foe?! 2B continued..."

"ATTN: I'm looking for a new girlfriend Are you: 1. Between the age of 11-69? 2. Mostly female? 3. Trained to poop outside? DM for details"

"I'm skipping the gym today because I already have a six pack... waiting for me in the fridge at home."

"Why did the blind blonde cross the road because she was following her seeing eye chicken"

"*Pays $450 for ticket to hockey game. *spends the whole game on iPhone."

"What do you call a guy with no arms and legs in a hot dog bun? Frank"

"What do Kermit the Frog and Henry the Eighth have in common? They share the same middle name."