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Joke of the Day
"How was Rome split in half? With a pair of *Caesars*"
Next Joke
"Me: Weaknesses? Oh, I'd say not relating well to other sentient beings. -I meant about the janitor job. Me: Oh ya, I don't know how to sweep"
"Trying not to take my dog's sighing personally."
"*does 3 or 4 pretty accurate karate kicks in front of a girl* ""Ya as I was saying my dad went to middle school with the drummer from Tesla"""
"Why didn't the cow go on to greener pastures? She couldn't find any mooovers."
"What's a crusader's favourite drink? A Teu-tonic."
"I won't believe the Groundhog saw his shadow until he updates his Facebook status."
"Where does a sad chemist find employment? At an apathycary!"
"What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scottsman? The Rolling Stones say ""Hey! You! Get off of my cloud!"" And a Scottsman says ""Hey McLeod, get of me ewe!"""
"Just got arrested for racing my Segway wearing an adult diaper and a Viking helmet. Still not clear which law I broke."