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Joke of the Day

"Just got arrested for racing my Segway wearing an adult diaper and a Viking helmet. Still not clear which law I broke."

"How many internet users does it take to change a light-bulb? I dunno. Let's just sign a petition so that hopefully somebody will do it."

"Ancient Chinese proverb: man who go to bed with itchy bottom, wake up with smelly finger."

"If movies have taught me anything, it's that the insurance for fruit vendor carts must be astronomical."

"What doesn't belong in this list: Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob? Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs, or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob."

"New dad as of today, so here is my first dad joke. What do you call it when you accidentally butcher your heifer instead of your steer? A Ms. Steak."

"What did the alien say to the gas pump ? Don't you know its rude to stick your finger in your ear when I'm talking to you !"

"I like my women like I like my coffee In a cup"

"Why do we call rulers ""Your Highness""? because that's what they measure."

"What's cold and comes in April? Her dad."