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Joke of the Day
"What is Moby Dicks dad's name? Poppa Boner"
Next Joke
"I realized taking dogs for walks is basically their way of checking social media. One lap of smells is a newsfeed scroll. Peeing is posting."
"I went to Florida, had sex with some gay reptiles and bought some bottles of sports drink I now have gatorades. :("
"Q: Why couldn't the shoes go out and play? A: They were all tied up."
"What's the key to a great Thanksgiving? Turkey"
"Me: Why are you in such a bad mood? 5-year-old: I haven't had my coffee. Me: You've never had coffee. 5-year-old: Exactly."
"Need an ark? i Noah guy"
"What's the difference between pussy and parsley? I don't eat parsley. -Andrew ""Dice"" Clay"
"""yes I'm very good in bed"" *folds blanket and neatly props up pillow* *pillow falls over* ""Oh no, this doesn't normally happen I swear"""
"What did the Italian historian ask when he saw the original copies of one of the tragedian's greatest plays? Euripides?"