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Joke of the Day

"[announcement over PA at work] ""FREE TACOS IN THE BREAKROOM"" *I walk there so fast the noise from my corduroys breaks everyone's eyeglasses*"

"What happened to the Milkman? He drank all the milk.... makes sense no? logically, yes!"

"What's a 69er got in common with the mafia ? One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit."

"knife on a date When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date."

"What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? My ass! HAHAHAHA!"

"What does a brick and a fat girl have in common? Both will eventually be laid by a Mexican."

"Try toasting... It raises your spirits."

"Apparently, the latest gadget used by suicide bombers around the world is a vest completely made of Galaxy Note 7s."

"What's worse than putting the punchline in the title?"

"Roses are red Violets are blue if DNA test proves you're my sister I'll stop sleeping with you."