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Joke of the Day

"[announcement over PA at work] ""FREE TACOS IN THE BREAKROOM"" *I walk there so fast the noise from my corduroys breaks everyone's eyeglasses*"

"What does batman like adding to his drinks? JUST-ICE"

"I just watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, and I thought to myself, Wow, dogs are easily entertained. Then I realized : I just watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes."

"My ex texted ""You've got a friend in me. XoXo"". I thought she was being too nice until I realized that she was talking about my buddy Dave."

"The reason Latin is a dead language is because they kept accidentally summoning demons during regular conversations"

"Mentos should print little messages on their mints like ""you're awesome"" or ""looking good"" and call them Complimentos."

"UNICORN: I love the forest! I love my horn! Life is wonderf [Pegasus flies over chased by babes] UNICORN: God why have you forsaken me"

"Did you hear about that amazing joke that Jesus told as he was dying? I don't know the joke, but apparently he nailed the execution."

"*puts little Santa hat on cat* Hahaha Santa claws *puts little Santa hat on dog* Hahaha Santa paws"

"What are hurricanes with a central dense overcast over the eye called? -Hurricanes with cataracts"