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Joke of the Day

"Coworker: You smell good. What is that? Armani? Me: Thanks! It's Febreze. I just took a dump."

"To a struggling artist: ""Don't give up... ...the day job."""

"I can tell you how to view NSFW content while at your desk. Get to work, Michael! You're not getting paid to watch models who have ""MAGA"" tattooed on their breasts."

"I recently threw my dog into the Thames and he didn't sink He always was a good buoy."

"How do you annoy a Reddittor? Repost"

"Who always gets to the LGBT rally the fastest? The lesbians, because they leave lickety-split. Meanwhile, the gay guys are still packing their shit."

"I remember when I discovered Santa Claus was just my dad I still don't know how he snuck out every year to deliver presents all over the world."

"I heard diarrhea is hereditary It runs in your jeans"

"What is heavy forward but not backward? **ton**"

"Long distance relationships almost never work out.. Because for example: The distance from Dallas TX to Chicago IL is 967.2 mi. The average penis size is 4 inches."