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Joke of the Day

"It'd be ironic if deaf people hung out in heards."

"What did the old man get for his birthday? Cancer."

"What does a 60 year old woman have between her breasts that a 20 year old woman doesn't? Her belly button."

"Thank God the conventions are over because now we can get back to the real issues: FOOTBALL."

"Have you heard about all the decapitations happening in the Middle East right now? I certainty won't beheading their anytime soon! -wink-"

"Nothing makes you feel more insignificant than still having 85% battery at noon."

"Why did Hitler really kill himself because he couldn't pay his gas bill"

"Why couldn't Joe get to home? He was a Mets fan."

"Children are like farts... ...You can only tolerate your owns"

"America is going to suffer if Donald Trump becomes president. You could say they are going toupee for it."