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Joke of the Day

"Got a big audition coming up that requires me to tell a good school appropriate joke. I have plenty of jokes, none of them school appropriate. I thought I'd come here for help."

Next Joke
 
"I pulled the shell off of my snail to make him faster Turned out it had the opposite effect, now he's a little sluggish."
"The opening scene of the movie ""Saving Private Ryan"" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade."
"ISIS, meet ebola. Ebola, meet ISIS. Problem solved."
"What do you call a blind deer? No eye deer"
"I cried when my dad chopped up onions for his sandwich.. Onions was always my favorite dog..."
"Do you guys know the difference between ""girlfriend"" and ""girl friend?"" ... that little empty void in the middle.. Known as the ""friend zone"" .."
"[showing my family to coworker] This is a picture of my daughter & my cat. Mittens & Jack. ""You named your daughter Jack?"" Nope, mittens"
"What do you call a smart plumber? A wisecrack."
"What is the difference between racism and the Chinese? Racism has many faces."