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Joke of the Day

"When complaining of a stomach ache, you don't really need to point to it or pat it gently. People pretty much know where the stomach is."

"What's Master P's favorite fruit? Uhh' banananaaaaaa"

"ME: *opens car door for date like a gentleman* DATE: *running and out of breath* PLEASE STOP THE CAR"

"Why are gingers' feet so rough? Because they have no soles"

"I got a handjob from a blind girl last night. She said ""You've got the biggest dick I've ever put my hands on."". I said ""Nah, You're just pulling my leg.""."

"How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool"

"Not sure video Instagram is a good idea. I've never looked at a picture of someone's dinner and thought, ""If only I could hear this."""

"What is purple, blue, and white and spits out dad jokes? Reddit"

"So there's apparently been over 200, well preserved tibia excavated in the area surrounding the great pyramid in Egypt... sources say it was a real shin dig."

"As a Chinese comedian many people ask about my opinion on our government... I can't complain."