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Joke of the Day

"[NSFW] Next time you're constipated, just watch Fox News or CNN. They bother the shit out of everyone."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Amaso ! Amaso who ? Amaso sorry you don't remember me !"

"McDonald's burgers always look so great in their commercials but when you actually order one it always looks like its been sat on."

"Why were there balloons in the bathroom? There was a birthday potty."

"If you are Russian when you go in the bathroom and Finnish when you come out, what are you in the bathroom? European (your a peeing)"

"Russian kids were writing an essay about their heroes.... ..... The title was: ""Who is your hero and why Stalin?"""

"I made my girlfriend dinner to cheer her up after her abortion The selfish cow didn't even touch her king prawn in red wine sauce"

"My cat is rubbing herself all over me because she wants me to stroke her. It's like she's a drunk version of me."

"Why Did The One Handed Man Cross The Road? So he could get to the second hand store!"

"Why is there no ""Lets settle this like women""? Because it lasts forever."