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Joke of the Day

"Why is there no ""Lets settle this like women""? Because it lasts forever."

"How do you cause a riot at a cat show? Open a can"

"How can you teach your child about adversity if you don't leave a diaper unchanged once in a while?"

"Why did the nose run? It did snot want to be late"

"What's the difference between a cock and a sausage roll? ""I don't know"" Wanna go for a picnic?"

"Cop: i told you this land is off limits Me: oh i thought you said it was all flimits Cop: wtf are flimits Me: idk let's go look Cop: ok"

"I'm disappointed to see that a lot of women are using ""period tracker apps"" now, instead of the shared Google spreadsheet I set up."

"What is the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer? One says, ""Hey, you, get off of my cloud!"". The other says ""Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe!""."

"I went to a club and they played ""The Twist"", I did the twist. They played ""Jump"", I jumped. They played ""Come on Eileen""...I got kicked out for that one."

"It took me just 30 minutes to get the Christmas tree up yesterday... It took surgeons 4 hours to get it back out again."