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Joke of the Day

"I made my girlfriend dinner to cheer her up after her abortion The selfish cow didn't even touch her king prawn in red wine sauce"

"What do you call 2 polar bears jerking each other off? Bi-polar"

"Smoking is a slow death! But we're not in a hurry..."

"Shredded cheese has officially been banned at grocery stores in the US. President Trump will make America grate again."

"No one realizes when someone says, ""The last thing I wanna do is hurt you,"" that basically implies: there is a list, hurting you is on it."

"My girlfriend's ex won't leave her alone. I'd drive there and do something about it if my wife would just give me the keys."

"What do you get from a frozen zombie? Frost bite. ;D"

"[overhears girl at work crying because her grandad & her dad died this month] Me: not all men are like that"

"Holy Week joke: What was Jesus doing on Holy Saturday? Just chilling."

"It's funny how certain scents can bring back memories of people we associated with those scents like how I remember my ex every time I take a shit."