207424

Joke of the Day

"Russian kids were writing an essay about their heroes.... ..... The title was: ""Who is your hero and why Stalin?"""

"When I heard that my toaster wasn't water resistant... I was shocked!!"

"I was going to have an 'end of the world' party... ...but I couldn't get the day off work."

"What is the opposite of progress? [](/colgatereally)Congress."

"Not sure what my dog thinks I do all day, but based on her excitement when I get home she apparently lives in constant fear I'll be murdered"

"Me: So, you come here often? Him: .....we're in my house."

"""My bad"" and ""I'm sorry"" mean the same thing Unless you're at a funeral."

"What's the difference between a Mexican and a computer? You only have to punch the information into a computer once."

"Always leave the shower curtains open. *things I learned from horrors"

"People believed in Jim Jones but... Sadly, he switched to KoolAid and lost a lot of followers."