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Joke of the Day
"Why aren't there any asprins in the jungle? The parrots-eat-em-all."
Next Joke
"What's worse than having ants in your pants? Uncles."
"Life advice: 1.Never be afraid to say what's on your mind 2.Never be afraid to do what's on your mind 3.Don't take life advice on Twitter"
"What's the difference between a woman and a computer? A computer doesn't complain when you push a 3 1/2"" floppy into it."
"What do you call a gay Nobel Prize Laureate in a blender? A homogeneous mixture."
"Carried 9 oranges up to the cashier and she says ""Ya want a box for them?"" ""I was willing to pay"" I said ""but I guess we can fight for em"""
"Spent all last night mouthing words to my dog to try and convince him that he'd gone deaf."
"Remember when we thought it would be fun to grow up and have jobs? LOL"
"I want to write in my resume how experienced I am in burning bridges... ...but I don't have anybody to use as a reference."
"Did you hear about the skeleton that couldn't go to the party? He had no body to go with."