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Joke of the Day

"I just realized that no matter what it says on my tombstone I'm going to have to read it upside down."

"I'm really good at fighting.... I won my last fight by 100 metres"

"My phone battery dies faster than a black guy in a horror movie."

"What do you call a woman with a very round head? Sophia. (sphere) it works best spoken"

"What does a mermaid stoner smoke? Seaweed."

"pleas tune into my next podcast where i ask what the FUCK angry birds is and viciously mock the first piece of shit caller to answer me"

"Two fish are in a tank. One fish asks the other fish ""How do we drive this thing?"""

"What did the cannibal's parents say when she brought her boyfriend home ? 'Lovely dear he looks good enough to eat!'"

"What is brown and sticky? Shit."

"Yeah yeah ""Friends with Benefits"" are cool but have you tried ""Friends with Batteries""? Less drama!"