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Joke of the Day

"Just heard on the news about the 1993 luggage murder. Apparently the police are reopening the case"

"What's a Russian's favorite Italian dish? Pepperoni Picza!"

"What dino was known for having distinguished tastes? A Connosaur"

"I went on a caving trip with my friend. I shouted to him that I found some Basalt. He shouted back ""That's Gneiss!"""

"Broke my good sunglasses... But instead of buying new ones, I'm just gonna put Trump pictures where the lenses used to be. He seems to be far more polarizing than my Costas ever were."

"People act surprised when I tell them my grandfather survived the holocaust. Most of the guards survived didn't they?"

"What do you call a human organ cut in half ? A human piano."

"I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT ANYTHING. YOU ARE EVIL. I don't want to go in the swing!! NOOOOooooo.... okay. yeah. This works. I'll hang here. - Baby"

"Everyone always wants to date the hot crazy chick.....Till you're standing outside watching your house burn."

"Garbage men have Hefty contracts."