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Joke of the Day

"You get an ark! You get an ark! You get an ark! You get an ark! You get an ark! You get an ark! -Noahpra"

"She: 5 mins babe He: Ok *discovers a new planet* *travels to it* *discovers life* *returns back* He: Ready? She: 5 mins babe"

"Yo mama so fat Her shirt size has more x's than a 12 Year olds gamertag"

"My girlfriend asked me if we could try fitness... I replied, ""fitness? How about we try fitness dick in your ass."""

"When your date asks about your hobbies, DON'T grab her table knife in a napkin and say, ""Collecting knives with strangers' prints on them."""

"How can you tell if someone with parkinsons has hypothermia? You can't. That's what makes it so funny."

"What do Marie Curies Notebooks and a defected KGB agent have in common? They both won't be investigated very closely."

"what's orange and sounds like a parrot? a carrot."

"Mommy, I wrote some notes down in my diarrhea. Please let her mean diary. Please let her mean diary. Please let her mean diary."

"On the bright side, every moment Bieber spends Tweeting is a moment he isn't spending recording or performing music."