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Joke of the Day

"How can you tell if someone with parkinsons has hypothermia? You can't. That's what makes it so funny."

"My skills Precision. Concentration. Patience. Fearlessness. Four skills I possess while shaving my nuts that I wish I could apply to other aspects of my life."

"What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph because he's not a full essay."

"Marriage is supposed to be permanent. It's like a tattoo that yells at you"

"So many brave flute players were killed by cobras in picnic baskets before one of them tried an Indian song."

"Why you should wash your car? WASH YOUR CAR BECAUSE IT IS DIRTIER THAN MILEY CYRUS!"

"Babies have little hands and odd sleep schedules which is why my gym for buff infants has miniature equipment and stays open 24hrs."

"Did you hear about the cannibal Bob Marley? He shit the sheriff (but he did not shit the deputy)."

"A blind man walks into a bar... ... Then in a table, then in a chair..."

"TOP STORY: Do websites create articles with lists and arbitrary numbers to get you to click through? Here are 15 examples you wont believe"