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Joke of the Day
"Thank you automatic ice dispenser. I was hoping to get either 2 or 675 ice cubes."
Next Joke
"when I run out of spoons that tells me its probably time to do the dishes .. or quit heroine, whichever."
"Q: What came first; the chicken or the egg? A: The rooster."
"I recently became a father Is a weird way to say I just got a girlfriend and she started calling me ""Daddy."""
"What's a priest on an egg called? A brother"
"What do you get when you cross a white cow with mad cow disease and a grizzly bear? A bi-polar bear."
"I'm glad David married me for my brains. My glorius, perky, bouncy brains."
"I swear I heard my dentist whisper ""yolo"" as he reached for a chisel..."
"Narcissism It's in your best self interest."
"Illegal immigrants do jobs that Americans don't want. Like marrying Donald Trump."