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Joke of the Day
"""PS, I love you"" -- Me to my PlayStation."
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"how many tickles does it take to get an octopus to laugh TEN TICKLES AHAHAHHAHAHAHA this is my favorite joke"
"I bought some shoes off a drug dealer But I don't know what he laced them with because I've been tripping all day..."
"what did the cookie say to the supermodel? I promise not to crumb in your mouth."
"Why did the chemist break his teeth? He ate a Pb and j sandwich I'd tell you another but all the good jokes argon"
"What is the difference between a Cat fish and a lawyer? One is a shit eating bottom sucker. The other one is a fish..."
"What do you call a cat crossed with a canary? a cosh(x/a)"
"*leaning seductively, slowly dragging fingertip across countertop* Me: how much for the entire case? Donut shop clerk: ma'am, $8.99 a dozen"
"Happy Hints To brighten your day, instead of going to the gym, go to Walmart You will feel a lot better about yourself"
"How to give a good hand job... Step 1: Use your mouth."