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Joke of the Day

"*brings a gun to a knife fight* *brings a gun to a pillow fight* *brings a gun to a food fight* who keeps inviting this guy"

"Mother: Why was the phone busy all night? Babysitter: The fire department put me on hold."

"Did you hear about the attempted shooting at the 2015 Pokemon World Championship? The gunmen tried to escape, but luckily, officers were able to catch'em all."

"I wonder how many calories you burn locking yourself out and having to climb in through a second story window.??"

"How do al-Qaeda like their toast? Bean-laden"

"How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Let the bitch cook in the dark!!!"

"[Spelling bee] Your word is Monogamous. M-O-N-O-T-O-N-O-U-S *2 Judges stare at each other* 1st judge *nods* 2nd judge: ""We'll allow it"""

"I disagree, but I respect your right to be stupid.!"

"Hm im scared of getting murdered. better go watch 20 tv shows about murder"

"What did the terrorist say as he walked into a classroom with a clock strapped to his chest? Allahu Clockbar!"