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Joke of the Day

"I love the concept of karma. It means all the people I've been fucking over and mistreating must of had it coming."

"What do a short sighted Gynaecologist and a puppy have in common? A wet nose.."

"An Italian and a Jew go into business together, who looses? the government"

"Selfies are just sad reminders that you have no friends willing to take pictures of your face and cleavage."

"Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is"

"HOW DO WELSH PEOPLE EAT CHEESE? CAERPHILLY"

"Why didn't the hipster want to see the Saint John River and the Penobscot River? They're two Maine streams."

"""I'm sorry, sir but you have cancer and you only have 5..."" ""5 years left to live? 5 months? Tell me, Doc! Tell meeeeee!"" ""5...4...3...2...1"""

"If you are being attacked by a bunch of clowns the first thing to do is go for the juggler."

"While they're a lot of fun on Halloween, did you know most jack-o'-lanterns end up at the pound? Please. Next year, carve a puppy."