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Joke of the Day

"A nurse found a rectal thermometer in her pocket and thought... ""Some asshole's got my pen"""

"NASA found methane on Mars! Proving once again that no matter how ancient a civilization is, it's farts that truly endure."

"My friend just brought home five new chickens for her chicken coop, and asked for suggestions for naming them... I suggested ""breakfast, lunch, dinner, brunch and supper..."""

"Feminism: because not all women can be beautiful."

"Why did the chicken cross the beach? To get to the other tide"

"How do you make a kleenex dance? You put a little Boogie in it!"

"Crabs only walk that way when people are looking at them"

"I just said ""Who's a little biscuit!"" to a puppy tied to a signpost outside a cafe & a homeless guy a few feet away said ""I am."""

"That IS a banana in my pocket AND I'm happy to see you. Why must society make these two things mutually exclusive??"

"While scrolling the front page I saw the most annoying thread ever It was coming out of the sweater I was wearing. That was my favorite sweater."