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Joke of the Day

"I await the announcement that Trump's running mate will be Charlie Sheen."

"I've been all over the web looking for a combination fly swatter/back scratcher. I'm tired of lugging both around all day."

"CAUTION: Even if your wife uses dual a sim phone, save both the number under one name ""WIFE"". Never save it as ""Wife 1"" & ""Wife 2""."

"My productivity at work has gone down 43% since corporate bought me a swivel chair."

"Cut out the middleman and just list 911 as your emergency contact."

"What do you call poor pasta? Spaghetto."

"8/10 black men say they enjoy shower sex. The other two haven't been to prison"

"Yo mammas so fat When she fell in the grand canyon she got stuck in between"

"What do you call a Syrian sex toy? A blowup doll"

"A girl asked me for sex yesterday. I had to disappoint her. We had sex."