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Joke of the Day

"Feminism: because not all women can be beautiful."

"Stephen Hawking calculates the properties of the universe from a wheelchair and I'm googling how to get paid without leaving my house"

"Whenever I see a bear on a motorbike I'm like, ""Good for you. You've not let the fact you can't be tattooed stop you from getting a bike."""

"How does Lady Gaga like her meat? raw raw raw raw raw"

"The early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese."

"How to not be racist Be like Mario! He's made by the japanese, he is an italian plumber, looks like a mexican, runs and jumps like a black man and grabs coins as fast as a Jew!"

"I used to work at an orange juice factory but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate."

"This morning I saw an ad offering 'help' to people contemplating suicide Which confused me, because the industry has banned ads for cigarettes, but apparently they have no qualms with murder."

"My Boss complains about that i ""come"" too early in work. The Job Pornstar is Hard. :I"

"""To be is to do"" - Socrates. ""To do is to be"" - Nietzsche. ""Do be do be do"" - Sinatra. ""Beep beep beep"" - R2D2."