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Joke of the Day

"So a proctologist is examining a patient. He pulls an anal thermometer out of his coat to make some notes. Looks at it and says ""Damnit some asshole has my pen!"""

"Kanye and Kim name their first child North West... ....in hopes that it will one day be the lead singer for One Direction"

"If you think January has been a big month for marches, you're gonna lose your mind when you hear what the 3rd month of the year is called."

"There may be no excuse for laziness, but I'm still looking."

"Teacher: Johnny, use the words 'defeat"", ""deduct"" and ""detail"" in a sentence. Johnny: Yes ma'am. ""Defeat of deduct went over defense before detail."""

"Starting with the word ""why"" and always pressing the middle option, what joke is your predictive text trying to tell us all?"

"I used to be a People Person, but People ruined it for me!!!"

"What's another name for a supernova? A POPstar. HAHAHAHA. Living is pain. Unbearable. End me."

"What are the similarities between my work shirt and the children of Flint, MI? They both were recently ironed."

"They said I'd miss my family I never miss at close range."