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Joke of the Day

"Kanye and Kim name their first child North West... ....in hopes that it will one day be the lead singer for One Direction"

"In Dog Beers, I've only had one."

"After telling joke that made me seem gay to my friend... I started laughing and said, ""Sorry, I'm not thinking straight."" Badam tsss"

"It's actually pretty convenient the Alan Rickman died so soon after David Bowie. You can just move your lightning bolt up a few inches for the funeral and fit right in."

"TIL the polish invented breakdance Have you ever tried stealing a wheel from a moving car?"

"Why do skunks celebrate valentines day? Because they are very scentimental."

"Alcohol may not be able to give you a loving hug when you need it but the Liquor Mart employee's you're buying it off of sure can."

"My wife deserved it... She didn't let me wank, I had to beat something!"

"I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised."

"I went to the doctors with hearing problems... He said ""Can you describe the symptoms?"" So I replied ""Homers fat, and Marge has blue hair"""