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Joke of the Day

"Me: *describing criminal* Well he was kind of *muffled laughter* ""sketchy"". Police Sketch Artist: *sighs heavily* Get out."

"The fish said to the... no the fish over heard... dammit that's not it... Okay I had a really good fish joke but forgot it, be patient walleye think it over."

"Me: Thanks for the sex. Me: You're welcome. Me: Maybe next time we can have another person in the room. Me: That'd be nice."

"The Little Mermaid (1989) The story of a girl who realizes that she should change EVERYTHING about herself to land a good man..."

"People are talking about how culture is too pc nowadays... But everyone I know has a Mac"

"My 4 yr old came in my room last night at 3am. I asked him what was wrong and he said ""how many eyebrows do I have?"""

"What's a Dragon Ball fan's favourite food? Vegeta-bles"

"What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye-deer! What do you call a deer with no eyes or legs? Still no eye-deer!"

"Interestingly enough, you can get STDs from a toilet seat... But only if you sit down before the other guy gets off. Source: QI"

"What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run like hell! She's got a grenade in her mouth!"