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Joke of the Day

"Me: Thanks for the sex. Me: You're welcome. Me: Maybe next time we can have another person in the room. Me: That'd be nice."

"You can never lose a homing pigeon... If your homing pigeon doesn't come back, what you've lost is a pigeon."

"[magician rolls over in bed] ""Last night was amazing"" Woman: Magical. Make me breakfast? Magician: [waves magic wand, eats her]"

"What is the difference between picking your nose.... ...and fucking someone up the ass? When picking your nose, you hope something **will** be stuck to the end after you pull out!"

"Whats the difference between a crab with big boobs and a bus station full of punks? One is a busty crustacean and the other is a crusty bus station"

"Did you know the Hulk has a lesser know super hero cousin with depression? Yeah, he's called the Incredible Sulk. #momstandup"

"What happens in BSDM when you fuck the wrong person? Oops, wrong sub."

"my idiot dog just ate a box of condom. i was gonna eat those buddy"

"""I'm going to slide in and go back and forth until you're satisfied"" -Floss"

"I'm not positive, but I think when you say you're ""over"" something, YOU STOP TALKING ABOUT IT."