36058

Joke of the Day

"Me: Thanks for the sex. Me: You're welcome. Me: Maybe next time we can have another person in the room. Me: That'd be nice."

"When I claimed I could post the funniest joke ever on reddit, everyone laughed at me. They're not laughing now."

"What's the only type of music that the balloon dislikes? Pop."

"I hate when I'm about to hug someone really good looking And then I hit the mirror."

"Bummed cuz parents wont send their kids to my resort that teaches how to pay attention. I thought ""Concentration Camp"" would be a gold mine."

"The Average human walks 900miles per year, and drinks 22 gallons of beer, which means the average human gets 41 miles per gallon... Not bad!"

"I wonder if people with eye patches thought it was all fun and games."

"What should PMS be called? Ovary-acting"

"Why didn't the lesbians go shopping for sports equipment? Because they don't like Dicks."

"my beloved wife was on the second earth as it detached from our earth and drifted forever #FirstWorldProblems"