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Joke of the Day

"Who makes more money, a hooker or a drug dealer? The hooker because she can wash her crack and sell it again."

"What's it called when Hobbits build houses for other Hobbits? Hobbitat for Humanity"

"*catches son swearing through sign language* ""We don't use that language in this house"" *hands him hand sanitizer* ""You know what to do"""

"If there is ever a corn army, I'll join it... ...and I'll be the colonel."

"I painted my computer black... thinking it would run faster but it just stopped working"

"I quit cold turkey. I just reheat it now."

"What's the difference between Donald Trump and Hitler Hitler had supporters."

"If I were Jesus, I'd change all the water on waterslides to wine because how awesome would winoslides be?"

"A boy goes into a stripclub... When he comes home, his mom asks him: ""Son, did you see anything you aren't supposed to see there?"" The son replies, ""Ya, I saw dad."""

"What do you call the urinal section of the bathroom? The place where all the dicks hang out."