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Joke of the Day

"When I learned what calculators did, I immediately cleared the ""math"" part of my brain to make room for more movie quotes."

"I figured I'd just think of a punch line and then try to make a joke out of it. What did the comedian say when asked how he came up with his last joke?"

"I started playing water polo the other day It was all fun and games until my horse drowned"

"First they came for the verbs... First they came for the verbs, and I said nothing because verbing weirds language. Then they arrival for the nouns, and I speech nothing because I no verbs."

"What is Ahmed Mohamed's favorite band? Dethklok"

"Why are gays never late for hotel check out? Because they get their shit packed the night before"

"why aren't mexicans and blacks suppose to have kids? because the children will be to lazy to steal."

"""Report Spam"" is the elevator close door button of Twitter."

"If I had to describe myself in one word... ...it would be ""bad at following directions."""

"In an attempt to raise profits ... I've heard that Malaysian Air is considering offering 1/2 way tickets."