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Joke of the Day
"""Report Spam"" is the elevator close door button of Twitter."
Next Joke
"Happy alentine's ay! For people who won't get the D or V"
"Today, A 12 year-old came up to me and said ""May I please have a cigarette?"". I can't believe kids this age are already so polite."
"Shame about Amanda Todd, killed by dyslexia. The label on the bleach said ""seek attention if ingested"", not ""seek attention and ingest""."
"Lets all agree, having your cake and eating it too, is the same damn thing."
"The best part about being a comma is that you're usually followed by a nice big BUT."
"Uma Thurman's eyes are so wide apart...... she can accurately measure the distance to the moon using parallax."
"kids r so cute!!! they dont wanna sleep becuase theyre afraid of having nightmares whereas adults cant wait to sleep so they can escape them"
"A woman told me at dinner she liked me because I'm ""not afraid to eat bread""--so I'm done with socializing for at least a year thanks"
"""I need you to tie my poop together."" ""What? You've gotta be kidding me!"" ""No, I shit, you knot."""