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Joke of the Day

"I figured I'd just think of a punch line and then try to make a joke out of it. What did the comedian say when asked how he came up with his last joke?"

"My room mates are concerned that I'm using their kitchen utensils... ...but that's a whisk i'm willing to take."

"I once dated a strict Catholic from the south of Ireland I'll tell you what, you can take the girl out of Cork...."

"I am waiting for scientist to invent invisible chocolate nobody will see me getting fat."

"My city has been putting in tons of toll booths. Yesterday I had to pay ten cents before they'd let me pass through an intersection! At least I was able to turn on a dime."

"My essay question is: ""The best Track and Field event is the one where they throw the circular object as far as they can."" ""Discus."""

"I had to break it off with my girlfriend. She wouldn't fake orgasms. I can't be with someone who doesn't care about my needs."

"Why did Shakespeare break up with his girlfriend? Prose before hoes."

"So a guy wants to live on a Danish island... He finds that the island is empty."

"One party-loving millionaire tried to win his ex back And you won't believe how!"