63505

Joke of the Day

"Why are there separate book donation boxes for Nigeria, Ghana, AND Zambia outside the bookstore? Am I supposed to pick my favorite?"

"5: I want to do something no one else has ever done. Me: Help me clean? 5: No. Something fun."

"How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them."

"If your girlfriend says ""my pyramid is late..."" Know two things: 1. Your hearing is poor 2. That's not your biggest problem right now"

"Snail Boss: under skills you've put 'quick reflexes' Snail: [2 hours later] that's right SB: [3 hours later] holy heck, when can you start?"

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a lima bean? I've never paid to have a lima bean on my chest."

"Vanish- The World's Number 1 Stain Remover' Is there a number 2 stain remover? My boxer shorts are absolutely fucked."

"Hey Joe, don't think we can use this ad. Why not? We're roofers. Yes, but ""Hot shingles in your area looking to get nailed"" seems extreme."

"*goes to grocery store *puts ""gently used"" sticker on all their cucumbers"

"What Do Nuns Call Air Conditioning In A Prison? A convent!"