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Joke of the Day

"when I was 11 my dad saw me using deodorant, laughed, and said ""that's not how you do it."" I never asked him the right way & it haunts me"

"Why did the fish's car break down? It needed a tuna-up."

"What do you call a fish poop born out of wedlock? A bass-turd"

"When people go underwater in movies, I like to hold my breath to see if I would've survived in that situation. I almost died during finding nemo"

"What's the biggest type of tree? A Country."

"""Tell me why I shouldn't report you to HR?"" The doctor yelled at me when I used the defibrillator wrong. ""I don't work here"" I yelled back."

"In 20 years I will publish a book Titled 'The Complete List of the Boyfriends of Taylor Swift'."

"What's in an STD salad? green pees"

"Why is Bon Jovi's bed always messy? Because he thinks it doesn't matter if you make it or not"

"Why doesn't Santa have any kids? Because he only comes once a year!"