44762

Joke of the Day

"when I was 11 my dad saw me using deodorant, laughed, and said ""that's not how you do it."" I never asked him the right way & it haunts me"

"A man and his pet owl go to the bar together They had a hoot."

"How does Frankenstein sit in his chair? Bolt upright."

"A girl at my high school got kicked out of the Future Farmers of America (FFA)... She couldn't keep her calves together."

"Y'know, a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided with a little foresight by the city planners. All they had to do was make that town big enough for the two of them."

"What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? (gotta love the classics) You can unscrew a light bulb"

"How do you make someone holy? You beat the hell out of them."

"What's the difference between a PhD in math and a large pizza? A large pizza can feed a family of four"

"What do Will and Jaden Smith like about today? It's After Earth Day."

"Playing dead for the alarm clock doesn't seem to be working"