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Joke of the Day

"Who won the animal race? The giraffe and the aardvark were running neck and neck but the aardvark won by a nose!"

"What did the man do after he fucked the tightest pussy... ...put the diaper back on."

"How to fall down the stairs * Step 1: * Step 2: * Step 4: * Step 17: * Step 35: And you're done!"

"My roommate just told me he tried to walk to Russia from Alaska. He pulled up short because he couldn't get his Bering Strait."

"A guy called into work and says, ""Hey, boss! What's the difference between work and your daughter?"" ""I'm not coming into work this morning!"""

"My Gold plated butt-plug business is being sued by Apple. Apparently they have a patent for overpriced crap for arseholes."

"My 8 year old daughter said she needed a new head coach at school I figured why not have my wife be the new head coach? She's great at it!"

"The Spanish national soccer team visited an orphanage in Brazil today ""It was hard to see their sad and hopeless faces"", said one of the orphans"

"How did hitler rise to power? He didn't everyone else just fell."

"What's black and looks good on a lawyer? An unconvicted felon."