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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend has the hottest ass in the world. Me"

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"What do you call a pile of kittens? A Meowntain"
"I'd run a marathon but I don't know if I can handle the commitment. I mean a lifetime of telling every person you meet you ran a marathon?"
"What's a crohn's patient's favourite punctuation? A semi-colon!"
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"I've never been a great salesman I'll tell you that for free"
"""Whatcha inventing?"" ""I call it a picnic. It's a meal but outside with bugs and a high risk of bear attack."" ""Can I bring my kids?"" ""Sure."""
"What's the most emotional computer you can buy? A Dell."
"What do you call the secret Eskimo organization that controls the world? The Igloominati."
"your dirty mind "" Give it to me"" she yelled, ""i am so fucking wet, give it to me now"" She could scream all she wanted, I was keeping the umbrella."