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Joke of the Day

"I'd run a marathon but I don't know if I can handle the commitment. I mean a lifetime of telling every person you meet you ran a marathon?"

"Wild horses could easily drag me away. In fact, a pair of determined guinea pigs could probably give me a run for my money."

"Why don't they teach sex-ed and drivers-Ed on the same day in the Middle East? Because the camels can't handle it."

"How did people crash their vehicles before cellphones?"

"Wife: DO YOU KNOW WHAT TODAY IS? Husband: ? *Wife storms out room* Husband: Happy Valsenbirthery?!"

"Why is peter pan always flying? He neverlands I like this joke because it never grows old This joke is off the hook Sorry"

"How is Liam Neeson and an ionic bond alike? They are always having something get taken."

"A hot girl in the hallway just smiled at me, but don't worry; I yelled ""I'm taken,"" and ran into the men's bathroom where she can't follow."

"What do you get when you cross a Native American with phosphorylation? ATP"

"For David Blaine's next trick, he will move in to a series of increasingly small apartments and eventually die alone."