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Joke of the Day

"your dirty mind "" Give it to me"" she yelled, ""i am so fucking wet, give it to me now"" She could scream all she wanted, I was keeping the umbrella."

"Why do fire departments have dalmatians? To help the firemen find the hydrants"

"Why didn't the piglets listen to the teacher pig? Because he was an old boar."

"I think there are female hormones in beer Because, if you start drinking to much you start to get fat and you lose the ability to drive."

"My Girlfriend"

"A drinking game where you do a shot every time you are prompted to update Adobe"

"I've finally understood the meaning of ""politics"" It's derived from ""poly"", the Greek word for ""many"", and ""tics"", a blood sucking parasite."

"Hey girl, are you a zero APR loan? Because I don't really understand your terms and you keep saying you have no interest"

"Fail-proof diet: cut sugar, fats, pasta, alcohol, bread and wrists."

"I wish I was an elevator... Because maybe then my wife would go down on me :c"