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Joke of the Day

"ELI5: If both my parents have huge dicks, does that mean I will be genetically guaranteed to have a huge dick when I grow up?"

"We need to run the government like a business. Specifically a Quizno's with a bat infestation, staffed by emotionally unbalanced retirees."

"Check-writing-grocery-line lady. No-turn-signal-SUV guy. Recline-seat-into-your-lap man. They're all voting tomorrow. Let's cancel them out."

"Hillary Clinton came out with a new campaign slogan in response to Sanders' ""Feel the Bern"" Its called ""Feel the Clit"""

"What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus? Irritable Brawls in Rome"

"I heard Monica lewinsky voted for Trump Just to fuck a Clinton one more time"

"I hope the meteorite crash in Russia doesn't affect the price of Vodka!"

"I'm great at drinking and driving but I would never do them at the same time."

"Oscar Pistorious wanted to buy a new bathroom door His girlfriend was dead against is"

"What do you get if you have unprotected sex in the ear? Hearing AIDS."