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Joke of the Day
"What does a scientologist and an almond have in common? They are both nuts."
Next Joke
"Just took $20 out of my friend Martin's wallet (he has ALS) because that ice bucket nonsense ruined my new kimono."
"""I'd like to make a toast."" - piece of toast telling her toast husband she wants to start a family"
"A guy walks into a bar owned by Eminem... He says,""Give me 2 shots..."" The bartender cuts him off saying,""You only get one shot."""
"What's the difference between a paycheck and a penis? You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck"
"My son used to check under the bed for monsters. So once I hid under there - so he'd see me and laugh. Anyway, child therapy is pricey."
"Just heard the phrase naturally boneless chicken and that'll keep me awake tonight."
"What's the difference between a lawyer and an angry rooster? The rooster clucks defiance. ^Let ^it ^sink ^in."
"Why did the Wright brothers turn their aircraft 90 degrees west when their dad walked in the cockpit? because three Wrights make a left."
"Doctor Doctor You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking Do you drink a lot? Not really - I spill most of it!"