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Joke of the Day
"What does a scientologist and an almond have in common? They are both nuts."
Next Joke
"Next time I cut out eyes in a painting to watch people from behind the wall, I'll use a portrait instead of a landscape."
"The only good thing about grinding your teeth at night is that every morning you can wake up and do a line of teeth off your pillow"
"On a rainy day two men are standing under the poplar trees in the park One of them is weeping: - John. Do you know how difficult it is to lose a wife? - I know Jack, I know. Practically impossible."
"A lady asked me if I had any gum this morning I replied ""Sorry, I don't have any Extra"""
"Imagine meeting the person of your dreams and then finding out they use cutlery to eat a burger."
"Why can't atheists solve quadratic equations? They don't believe in higher powers."
"It's like my Uncle said, no body, no crime Coworker: I only asked how your weekend was..."
"My son asked me the definition of impending doom. I just said, 'you know when you smell dog poop in the house, but you can't see it? That.'"
"I ran over some flowers when I was mowing today Whoopsy-daisy!"